Highly Sensitive Woman

The experience of living as a highly sensitive woman in a noisy, busy and unrelenting world

5 Things That Frustrate Me!

steam headThese ‘things’ I’m about to list truly get my blood pressure rising…and quickly….

See if any of these hit a nerve for you too.

 

1. Technology (like the keyboard on this blogsite) that jumps around the page, erases my words without my permission and doesn’t load the pictures I want it to!

2. Technology having a language all to itself, so that when I go to order a new mobile (cell) phone, I can’t properly discuss what giggabytes, megabytes, little bits, big bits that are needed with the sales guy on the other line.

3. Ordering technology.  If you want to order over the phone then trying to find a contact number is like finding a needle in a haystack.  Why do I have to order ‘online’ all the time.  What ever happened to the personal touch.

4. Using technology to talk to someone long distance.  Why is it that every time I am set to speak to a client via Skype (I have a paid subscription) Skype decides it’s time for them to update my system.  Really, you are getting in the way of my calls!

5. Technology security updates everything on my desktop during the day (lovely feature that my computer guy installed)…but if I’m in the middle of writing something out on my computer, it slows everything down until it’s done.

Let me add a final note here.  I don’t like being controlled by my computer!  I will never get used to this and I don’t think I want to either.  After all personal control should be something that is under my control…shouldn’t it?!?

Now that I’ve had my say, I think I will find some peaceful place to sit…far away from technology…and let nature control things for a bit.  I believe in ‘her’ more than I will ever believe in technology.

Love, Dr B (a frustrated Burnout Queen at this moment)

PS:  Then I’m off to re-read Be The Queen of Calm, Cool & Collected.  Have you got your copy as well?

 

Hello from Brighton & London!: 6 August 2016

Hello from London & Brighton

Well Darlings, July came and went without any fuss or bother!   Really, the Burnout Queens’ usual trips were cancelled due to the train strikes, slowdowns, overcrowding, and track fires!   So we stayed seaside.

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Although we love the ‘buzz’ of London, staying local and low-key nurtures the quiet-seeking side of our Highly Sensitive souls.

We’ve been keeping our noses deep down in work all month, so much so we’re growing roots! (humour inspired by local nature).  Don’t worry, the fruits of our labour will blossom shortly.  (That’s the last nature pun, promise!)

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We do practice what we preach sometimes!  The Burnout Queens always take nourishment when and where we can grab it, especially on the roof terrace among the flowers in the blazing sun.

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It’s never all work, no play for us.  We will stop and take in the latest West End theatre production when it arrives.  It’s a fab way to leave work behind for a few hours.  This month it was ‘After Miss Julie’ a dark drama with actress Helen George (Call the Midwife).

And everything is more exciting under a full moon, especially when it hovers over The Channel right outside our terrace!

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We’re looking ahead to a special stay-cation (relatives coming to stay) with day trips to new and never-before-seen villages and castles along the coastline.  Can’t wait (fingers crossed the trains aren’t striking or we’ll be forced to shop, shop, shop and have lots and lots of tea and cake).

Till next month from the coastal seaside and London…or who knows where (complete with pictures) enjoy your month.

Love,

Love, Dr Toby & Dr Bev xx

PS:  The Realm!  Our global women’s club is growing fast and our reach is truly worldwide (although there are a few corners on the map we have yet to welcome),so count yourself in too.   Register for your instant membership here and start Defying your Ordinary https://theburnoutqueens.com/the-realm/

Are You Ready to Embrace Chaos? Change, Chaos, and being an HSP

Are You Ready to Embrace Chaos? Change, Chaos, and being an HSP

When you are burned-out you feel caught between being totally overwhelmed by life as it exists and the intense desire to change absolutely everything.  When the desire to change wins out there is no stopping a Burnout Queen.  I was reminded of this by a client who, a year post-burnout, was looking at shaking up her life big time and asking herself an important question, “Am I up to it?”  However, it was her second question that really rumbled the heavens for me,

“Am I ready to handle the chaos of change again?”

I know that sometime over the next year I’m going to have to make some big changes and frankly I’m right there with her.  It’s been many years since I put my burnout lifestyle behind me for good, but there are times, like when facing another life overhaul, that my energy droops.  My client nailed it…

It’s not the change that zaps my energy, it’s the inevitable chaos.

I dread the tension that accompanies chaos.  I dread the mess, the decisions, the starting point; did I mention the mess!   It’s like changing your clothes over from winter to summer; the piles, the choices, the tangle of hangers, giving up the comfort of knowing what’s what.  Total chaos (in the small scheme of things) but enough to make me put off doing it and hoping for rain just one more week!

Chaos makes me nervous, even downright anxious.  It’s what comes with the chaos that makes me want to avoid another big change: the discomfort, the uncertainty, the learning curve.  Of course, I am also met by all of the emotions associated with the chaos of change; self-doubt, fear, anger, and of course, overwhelm.

I should welcome these harbingers of change, they may be the very things that push me into the chaos and out the other side where I get to reap the benefits of my hard work and courage.  Anger can become my strength, overwhelm can demand focus, and the dreaded fear, well it can herald adventure.

It’s that breathless pause between chaos and change, comfort and chaos that is ripe with possibility.

Creativity happens in the impasse, somewhere between comfort and chaos, chaos and comfort.   This is the hard bit, we have to trust ourselves to sit in the impasse, tolerate the chaos until a solution, a change, becomes visible.  Not the easiest thing to do in a culture that worships decisions, ultimate decisions, fast decisions, flat-out black and white decisions.

But I sit, straddling the wall, pondering my ability to once more jump into the unknown.  Trusting that I will know, I will sense, when I am ready to plunge into the chaos.

The very nature of life is constant movement, constant flux, constant change!  So I don’t think I will ever get extremely comfortable in chaos, not with my highly sensitive nature, but I understand it and tolerate chaos more post-burnout.  I reassure myself that it is an alright state of being, for a time.  I mean I wouldn’t want to live there, but maybe a little chaos is just the thing I need to get me going!

There is renewal waiting in chaos.

I can’t live life the way I want if I don’t embrace change.  I guess that means that from time to time, chaos is going to be my companion.  So I’m going to treat it like a welcomed friend, but one who knows when it is time to leave!  So if you hear yourself saying, “I don’t like change or I’m not good at change” , ask yourself,  “Is it the change or is it the chaos?”

But My Darlings, even with the chaos, you’ve got to love change because change changes everything!

Love, Dr Toby & Dr Bev xx

PS.  The BOQs would love to hear from you!  Leave your wisdom and comments in the box below.

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