Do you ever feel you get lost in the shuffle because you are so darn good at understanding everyone elses’ viewpoint? Maybe you’re particularly good at seeing every situation or problem from absolutely every side? Could just be you are always the one that sees the big picture, so big in fact that you often disappear in your own panoramic perspective?
Well, Darling, being a highly sensitive and creative woman, being a Burnout Queen, can leave you dizzy from the constantly changing kaleidescope of your point of view!
So we thought it made perfect sense to start out this year by taking a closer look at perspective taking. How can you believe in yourself unconditionally if you tend to misplace your point of view? I mean,
How can you celebrate being you if you don’t know where you stand?
It is actually quite a gift being able to consider things from all sides. It is born of a highly developed level of perspective taking (a psychological milestone), a heightened ability for empathy, intense curiosity, and a unlimited interest in and open-mindedness toward divergent ideas.
Here’s the glitch, when you are naturally gifted (some might say ‘too’ gifted, but you’ll never hear that from these lips!) with this ability, you can actually lose sight of what you think or believe or want or need. We’ve been in meetings where many ideas were being floated and found ourselves thinking, ‘that sounds good’ and with the next idea, ‘sure I get that’ and on to, ‘ that makes sense too’! Well, by the time it got back to us, we were no longer sure where we stood on the issue and that is just soooo frustrating! Permission granted, lovely Queenie, to boldly and bravely hold on to your own point of view.
Now here is where we make the connection to burnout…
When you get out-of-step with your unique perspective it makes you feel less sure-footed, unheard or misunderstood, and eventually it can lead to a sense of diminished self-identity. If you don’t respect your own point of view ultimately you won’t really know what you think, value, want, or need. When you lose sight of yourself you stop taking yourself seriously, and then you stop taking care of yourself.
You don’t count if your point of view doesn’t count to the most important person in your world…YOU.
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Your self-approval rating will go down and you certainly won’t believe in yourself unconditionally. Then, one day you will wake up wondering why you feel discouraged, disappointed, and disheartened with yourself and your life. Now, that, my dear, is burnout.
We know from experience that it can be a challenge and sometimes require courage to stand strong in your convictions, ideas, beliefs, and values. That’s why it takes practice to recognise and maintain your own point of view.
It doesn’t necessarily come naturally because we have been taught that it is of value to see things from others point of view, to walk in someone else’s shoes so to speak, and to be able to see all sides of an issue. It’s true, this is a great skill to have but you also need to be able to recognise and respect the distinction between others’ perspectives and your own.
Here are a few ways you can start practicing:
Try not to see things from everyone else’s standpoint, practice recognising and maintaining your point of view
Abstain from giving your opinion ‘on the spot’ if you aren’t a good on the spot person.
Always have a few pret-a-porter responses ready, like:
- I’m not sure what I think about that, I’ll have to reflect on all sides.
- I’m not being wishy-washy, I just need to think it all through.
- It’s been an interesting discussion now I need to review all the info.
Whatever comes up, make a point of considering what you think about an issue, what you believe in, what your opinion is, what you want or what you need.
Be observant of yourself so that you can feel grounded, centred, firmly-planted and strong in your belief in your own perspective.
Of course you will always be open and willing to take in new information and listen to others it just fits with your highly sensitive nature. Just remember, my love, that in the end the only perspective to live by is your own. Then and only then can you truly, honestly, celebrate how amazing you are!
PS. The BOQs would love to hear from you! Leave your wisdom and comments in the box below.
