Highly Sensitive Woman

The experience of living as a highly sensitive woman in a noisy, busy and unrelenting world

Hello from Lewes & London! 7 October 2017

Hello from London & Lewes

September and The Burnout Queens hopped the train to London to ‘get cultured’ at the Victoria & Albert museum.  A stunningly beautiful exhibit of dresses by Balenciaga. If you are in London in the next few months, put this stop on your tour list.

 

Dr T wrote this in our Sunday’s postcard to The Realm members!

“As we exclaimed our way through the exhibit I began to remember why I had fallen in love with fashion when I was a young teen.  Oh, the delight of it!  I began to recall the pure excitement of picking a pattern, choosing a fabric and then indulging in pure creativity.  I feel a sewing bee coming on.”

As museum members we took ourselves to lunch in the member’s room (as you do) and what a delight that was.  Top floor conservatory with old world charm and modern accessories.

It was opening day and surprise…the computers were having problems, so lunch was on-the-house!  You know what The Burnout Queens always say, “expect the unexpected”.  It was the perfect end to our visit to the museum.

Before catching the train back home, we had a few errands to do so we walked our socks off (no we didn’t actually have socks on) back to Chelsea and went into the department store only to be met with more unexpected images.  It seems Christmas is on it’s way!  These pics were taken specifically to make the Canadian niece green with envy (it worked because she is addicted to Christmas)!

 

Of course I always love seeing my old London landmarks when arriving and departing London by train.  I’ve been using Battersea Park Power Station as my joyful moment of recognising London since the 60’s when we first made a trip over.  It never dims my excitement.  All these years later, when I see the 1069 castle lit up in my new Town I get that same feeling.

 

At the end of September, the little man had his teeth cleaned.  Well, fourteen teeth extractions later (yes you read that right, apparently it’s the breed) he’s still the goofy-little Alf we love, but now gumming it in his middle years.  Next month is birthday number 8 and I bet you he has enough teeth left to down a whole cupcake in style.  After all he is one adorable Burnout Pup!

Hoping your September was cultured, full of memories and adorable moments too.

Until next month,

Embrace Life!

The Burnout Queens | Dr Toby and Dr Bev

P.S:  If you are curious about The Realm postcards, click through here to grab your first Sunday mailout and membership.

https://theburnoutqueens.com/the-realm/

Email skills up to snuff? Part 2

Last week I shared my HSP reaction to the first of five mistakes that make you look unprofessional when sending emails. It’s a great Inc.com article we love to share, and you can catch the first blog here: https://theburnoutqueens.com/email-skills-up-to-snuff/

This week I want to share my HSP thoughts on the second of the five mistakes that make you look unprofessional when sending emails.

 

2.  Choosing email instead of private messaging.

If you are an HSP like me, there is nothing worse than getting mounds of emails in your inbox each morning (and throughout the day). It sets my ‘overwhelm button’ into virtual overdrive.

I have to admit I used to be guilty of doing this, but no more. When I get it from others though, I thank my lucky stars I listened to Dr Toby saying “quit while you’re ahead!

What am I talking about?

This article suggests using a private messaging system or sending a text is the perfect way to send off a one-liner to friends, family and colleagues. Don’t keep sending back replies to emails.

How many times have you sent your final thoughts or suggestions for business in an email and the receiver keeps replying with small little phrases to keep the email conversation alive (did I just hear Dr T’s voice again). There is always someone who keeps the string attached by replying ‘ok’, or ‘you’re welcome…no problem’, or ‘me too’, or just ‘yep’. This creates at least five extra emails returning to my inbox.

I DON’T LIKE CROWDS. This is crazy and annoying. I just want to say ‘enough already’, but that would net me another reply I’m sure…

…’sorry’!

Next time you are about to hit the reply button with a little extra something, you might want to try to eliminate the urge to be the ‘nice-friendly-person.’    I think the receiver will understand (I know I will be relieved).

Number three next week. If you have a comment or agree (and disagree) with me, leave your thoughts below. We love hearing from other HSPs!

Love, The Burnout Queens xx

 

PS:  If you want to read the original article click here https://www.inc.com/peter-economy/5-email-mistakes-that-make-you-look-extremely-unprofessional.html?cid=email

 

 

Email skills up to snuff?

I love reading my Inc.com online alerts.  This one just jumped out at me.  “5 Email Mistakes That Make You Look Extremely Unprofessional”

As a highly sensitive entrepreneur I take great pride in how I write my emails.  Do you?  Well, according to this article you definitely should.  As I read it I had reactions to it (as a highly sensitive entrepreneur of course and a psychologist as well) so here’s my opinion on a great article, starting with the first of Peter’s 5 points.

 

1 Unstructured Criticism:  First I hate the word criticism it’s so unconstructive.  I prefer feedback because people tend to listen when it’s called feedback.  The article says don’t ‘blast negativity at someone through an email’.  Yes, words can appear harsher in print without the tone or facial expressions of the messenger.

For us highly sensitive person biz types, we love ‘seeing and hearing’ face and tone movements and levels.  It gives me much more scope for the meaning of the words and the overall sense of the message I am being given.  This way I definitely know how the messenger feels.   Ho-hum, I know this is not always possible so…

The Inc article suggests delivering your criticism in ‘the compliment sandwich’ way!  This sounds nice, but when I taught communication 101 at university this type of sandwich while nicer didn’t always digest well, particularly when using words like “great job Sue, but….”  I can guarantee that Sue didn’t dwell on the great job part of the message, but she probably ruminated over all the stuff that came after BUT.

(On a psychological note, the truth and reality of a message always comes after the BUT).

The Burnout Queens suggest using kinder words overall.  There is no need to be negative.  Instead, focus on the strength of the person’s skills and encourage them in your feedback to use their strengths to correct themselves and their work.  “Sue I loved the energy and creativity at the beginning of your report.  Is there some way you can end it on that same enthusiastic and creative note?”   Sue may actually shine and be proud of the outcome.

Next post, I’ll give you the HSP scoop on one more Email Mistake in this article.  In the meantime, why not try The Burnout Queens’  Strength Building Feedback Style for the next few days with your colleagues (wink: it works with the kids and yourself as well).

If you’ve been served the compliment sandwich, let us know and what it may you feel like.

Love, The Burnout Queens xx

For the original  Inc.com article click here

 

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