Burnout

The experience of living with burnout and exhaustion for professional, creative and highly sensitive women

Living Your Values! | Simplify Life and Avoid Burnout

Living Your Values! | Living Your Values!

It’s a Big topic…Values, right up there alongside of Purpose and Meaning.  When I come up against one of these Big topics I try to bring it down to earth, and make it understandable, simple and actionable in an everyday sort of way.  Why?  ‘Cause…

Living your values is an ‘absolute must’ if you are Highly Sensitive.

Why is it so important for HSPs to know and live by their values?  Easy, values are the cornerstone of your true identity and character.  (As demonstrated by our fabulous feline fashionista Freddie who lives her values surrounded by nature, living peacefully with birds and squirrels alike, in the California mountains!)

Since values form part of the very foundation of who you are, not living in alignment with your values can result in not liking yourself and feeling like a fraud.  On the other hand, when you do something aligned with your values it just feels ‘right’!  When you live by your Values you…

Live from a place of Truth and Integrity.

Connect to your Real Self.

Live, love and work in a way that suits your Soul.

When you know your values you can articulate them clearly and communicate them through what you do and how you live, just like our Freddie.

Everyday values honour who you are and what you believe in.

So now you are thinking, “That all sounds grand, but how do I do that?”

Well, here’s what works for me.  I configure my values on two different levels, Guiding Values and Everyday Values.  My Guiding Values (the BIG ones that belong to my Higher Self) guide my very existence on the planet.  But BIG values can be intangible and hard to nail down, so it can be difficult to know how to act on them directly.  I look for ways to reflect Big values in how I live each and every day.  My Everyday Values are expressed through loving and caring for animals, gardening, teaching and inspiring women, communicating with kindness being generous and respectful, living in a soulful way and looking for meaning in all I do in life.  That I can do.

Looking at values in this two-tiered way helps to create a roadmap to what is, or is not, important in your life.  Values, both big and small, simplify life by guiding and informing choices, decisions, actions, work and relationships.

Knowing your values definitely clarifies and defines how you live your life, but it sometimes means having to make tough choices. The alternative, however, will eventually lead you down the road to burnout.  You will find yourself in the 4Ds of Burnout being disappointed, discouraged, disillusioned and eventually completely disheartened.  Not living your values leads to tension, dissonance, discontent, and even depression.  Ultimately, you might feel like you are selling your soul. (Been there, done that, not pretty!)

Knowing your values isn’t a ‘one-shot’ deal, you will need to continually review them, refine them, expand them and explore more deeply what they mean in your life.  When you do this you will find more and more creative  ways to express them in your daily life.  To help this process along here are a few questions that you can ask yourself now and in the future:

  • What are my most important Guiding Values?
  • Am I living my Values in a everyday kind of way?
  • Is what I am doing in my life serving my values?
  • Will this action move me closer to honouring my values or farther away?
  • What values must I honour or feel like a part of me dies?

Living so that you can express your values in an ordinary, everyday sort of way leads to a more powerful, ethical and fulfilling life.  Living out-of-sync with the very things that bring meaning into your life, your values, means never truly living a balanced, harmonious or purposeful life.  Big questions, big answers, don’t avoid them.

When you are Highly Sensitive living a good life means living
a ‘value driven’ life.

Until Next Time…Grab Life by the Crown!

P.S.  The BOQs would love to hear from you!  Leave your wisdom and comments in the box below. 

P.S.S. We’re now on Instagram! Our handle is THEBURNOUTQUEENS, of course!

Crack open the books

What better time than summer to crack open the books you’ve longed to read all year long.  The days are long, the pace is summer-slow, and the time is yours to catch up on yourself.  

The Burnout Queens believe in the power of knowledge.  With our psychology degrees, our coaching expertise, and a specialty in womens’ issues, we wanted to share just a few books that will help you jump any life hurdles and open you up to even more personal growth. 

Here are a few of our ‘must reads’ to get you started.

  1. Excuses Begone! (Dr. Wayne W. Dyer)
  2. Be Happy.  (Robert Holden, Ph.D.)
  3. Quiet.   (Susan Cain)

 

Happy Reading darling. 

Dr Toby Silverton & Dr Bev McLagan  aka…The Burnout Queens xx

 

Hello from Lewes & London! 15 June 2019

Hello from London & Lewes

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

Ah…nothing better than a birthday in the countryside just outside our town.  No need for a petsitter or train, just the little red car, sunshine and our National Trust member cards (love this membership).

First stop, lunch at Kingston’s ‘The Juggs’ pub established in 1400’s.  Sitting outside amongst all the flowers enjoying the sun, listening to the birds singing and horses clopping by, and enjoying great food, perfection.  It’s not often Dr T is so tall she has to duck through a pub door.

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

 

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

Next stop the village of Rodmell just down the road for a visit to the country home and gardens of Virginia Woolf.  She shared Monk’s House with her husband Leonard and it is literally out our back door.  The house is so divine and quirky it took our breath away.

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

 

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

 

Bohemian style cottages are an absolute ‘treat’ to both of us.  We instantly felt surrounded by calm and inspiring energy.  Every corner and every room held something wonderful to enjoy.  And we hadn’t even gone outside yet (but the views were enticing).

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

 

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens


Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

 

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

The Monk’s House gardens are vast:  lawns, lakes, bowling greens, orchards, sculptures, small flower beds, and many benches where you can sit and soak up the birdsong, scents and magnificent views.

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

 

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens


Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

 

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

And then, the piece de resistance, the very thing we were so excited to see…right there at the back of the garden…Virginia Woolf’s writing cottage.  A simple but profound place where she wrote the novels we had both studied in our womens studies courses and loved to read.  In fact, we declare, every woman must read ‘A Room Of One’s Own’.  Who wouldn’t be inspired to write surrounded by gardens and an orchard just outside your door.  Standing in this little gem of literary inspiration was a ‘pinch us moment’ we could only have dreamt of decades ago.

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

 

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

Village life in Rodmell is so beautiful it was hard to leave, but we will definitely be back again and again as the seasons change.  If you look close you can see  our little town in the distance (told you we lived close by).

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

We arrived home to a surprise delivery, a huge box from Fortnum & Mason department store (someone has expensive and good taste).  The Burnout Pups got so excited, they love an unexpected box!  The gift?  A cannister of favourite tea and a fabulous biscuit tin that started to play Happy Birthday!!!  That sent the pups wildly over the top…thanks Auntie Sher you know how much you’re loved for this!

Fortnum & Masons| The Burnout Queens

Until we share our next adventure, and finish off the biscuits and tea, keep daytripping.

Love,

Stop Overwhelm and Embrace Life!

Are you feeling ‘overdone from overdoing’?  Did I hear a big ‘YES’ from you?   Then darling, you are OVERWHELMED and that won’t be a surprise to you.

When we’re overwhelmed we just want to sit down and throw our hands up in the air…give up…and hope tomorrow will be better than it feels right now.   I’m sure you can relate.

 

                                               

In our podcast today, Dr T is talking about OVERWHELM, giving you insight into

  • what overwhelm actually is (not what you think)
  • what happens to you when you’re overwhelmed (anxiety, getting stuck and experiencing a brain drain)
  • how to offset your overwhelm 

The Burnout Queens’ podcast OVERWHELM GEMS give you 7 Gems that are pretty darn simple to put into motion and reap you big results.

Stop the Overwhelm and Embrace Life!

Love, Dr Toby & Dr Bev (The Burnout Queens)

Hello from Lewes & London! 18 May 2019

Hello from London & Lewes

A day of exploring gives us inspiration for continuing to live a burnout-free lifestyle.  This April, The Burnout Queens took a daytrip (a little West) to Petworth.  The last time we visited Petworth was literally decades ago.  Now having the ‘wheels’ makes it possible to occasionally escape the work routine for a little historic R & R.

Petworth, West Sussex is an absolute gem!  Of course all daytrips start with a good cup of tea and browse around, so drink up and let’s go….

The Burnout Queens | Hello May 2019

The Burnout Queens | Hello May 2019

 

The Burnout Queens | Hello May 2019

The Burnout Queens | Hello May 2019

 

We explored all four streets of delightful shops, then it was time to see ‘the big house’ and the famous deer park.  The same family has lived in Petworth Manor for nearly 900 years!!!!  With that timeline the house oozes stories of love affairs, wars, lineage, scandals, and legacy.  We stopped to ask a guide a question and were generously treated to story after story for a good half hour!  There were walls of art from top to bottom boasting masterpieces most of us only dream of seeing.  And for those of you who are gardening enthusiasts, the deer park was designed by none other than famous landscaper, Capability Brown.  She was the first landscaper to move away from ‘fussy’ gardens and embrace wide sweeping landscapes.  Big names and big impact!

The Burnout Queens | Hello May 2019

 

The Burnout Queens | Hello May 2019

The Burnout Queens | Hello May 2019

 

The Burnout Queens | Hello May 2019

 

The Burnout Queens | Hello May 2019

The size and scale of the house and gardens, even the furniture, is hard to imagine.  And who of us has a family chapel inside our homes? (That’s Dr B giving you some idea of how big and high this chapel is).

The Burnout Queens | Hello May 2019

The Burnout Queens | Hello May 2019

 

It was such a beautiful sunny day we enjoyed meandering through one of the many areas of lawns and gardens.  The deer park will have to wait for the next visit, perhaps with the Burnout Pups.  The landscapes, designed views, walkways of flowers, and Roman structures are stunning.  Enormous trees dating back to the 1700’s let us see beauty and age in a spiritual way.  This is so good for my HSP soul.

The Burnout Queens | Hello May 2019

The Burnout Queens | Hello May 2019

 

The Burnout Queens | Hello May 2019

The Burnout Queens | Hello May 2019

 

The Burnout Queens | Hello May 2019

It was time for afternoon tea and cake (walnut and coffee sponge) and a last doddle around Petworth Village before getting home to Pups.  We couldn’t resist buying this adorable early 1900s decoy for our tiny garden trough.  It brings a lasting memory of our day to our everyday.

The Burnout Queens | Hello May 2019

The Burnout Queens | Hello May 2019

 

The Burnout Queens | Hello May 2019

The Burnout Queens | Hello May 2019

 

Next daytrip is coming up: Monk’s House in East Sussex (village of Rodmell in the nearby countryside…google it) to see the home, gardens and writing cottage of Virginia and Leonard Woolfe.  Cannot wait and promise to take loads of pics to share.

Are we inspiring you to take some time away from the usual ‘responsible stuff’ and enjoy exploring and discovering as much as we do?  We hope so ‘cause, Darling, there’s a great big interesting world out there!

Love,

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Photography: Caroline True Photography | Illustration by Veronica Miller | Site Design: Kim McDaniels | Disclaimer