I was recently asked how come ‘new’ doesn’t always feel like fun. Well, there are times when new seems too unfamiliar, too big, too loud, too much, or just too new.
You see us HSPs are a curious bunch (curious as in unique, not curious as in snoopy, although we can be that as well) we love experiences, we love exploring and discovering, and we love newness, however, we can also be a cautious bunch.
That is why it is important for you, my lovely, to understand your relationship with ‘new’. Do you forge ahead with gusto, tiptoe gently into the unknown, sneak-up on it carefully from the side, or wait to get dragged into the unfamiliar? Whatever your style, it’s definitely time to…
Face the unfamiliar and ‘new’
any way you want.
It’s also high time you stop speaking harshly to yourself about being too much of a scaredy cat or ‘unadventurous’ or wondering what is ‘wrong’ with you that you don’t automatically embrace everything new! You can be open to newness and still be respectful and mindful of your famous HSP ‘pause to check’ early warning system.
Pausing to check is different from avoidance. You are allowed to warm-up to things; you are allowed to stick your toe in the water before jumping in head first. Giving your natural curiosity a moment to ripen is about finding, or creating, a comfortable spot physically and/or psychologically for yourself.
The unknown factor of the unfamiliar means you have no starting point, no compass that firmly tells you where North is. Sometimes that can be intimidating, often thought provoking, at times downright uncomfortable, and always unfamiliar.
The best thing is to make the unknown
as known as you possibly can.
Here are a few ways, both small and big, we check out the new and unfamiliar. (Please note, we raise our hands on these without a blush of embarrassment!)
- Check out a menu before visiting a new restaurant.
- Google-map an unknown neighbourhood before exploring.
- Check a venue out online before a concert.
- Check the weather app before heading out the door.
- Drive by a place to see if there is parking near by.
- Time the tube route before going to a job interview (who wants to be late, not an HSP!)
A little before-hand prep can help with planning, comfort, and even safety. These days we check Foreign Office websites for travel safety advisories, we note the exit doors on airplanes, and we still look both ways before crossing the street!
We consider these things ‘normal’ and helpful, if not smart. As HSPs we may turn the volume up on our prep a bit and that is perfectly OK. No explanations needed, it’s simply our style. It doesn’t mean we won’t participate in new experiences and it doesn’t mean we won’t love them! We are allowed to dip our toe in the water before we take the plunge.
Facing the unfamiliar can make us feel lost, like we don’t know which way to turn, and that can fill us with doubt, tension, anxiety, and even fear. Feeling so unsure, trepidacious, and thoroughly uncomfortable may even have us wondering why on earth we put ourselves through it. So we back away, maybe even avoid. Who needs to go on a cruise, it’s easier (read more familiar) to stay at home, order the same old take-away, and watch reruns! Nothing new, not even on telly! Here’s the thing, my love, now we are talking burnout. You will be disappointed, discouraged, and disheartened, not to mention bored because…
Life gets small when you don’t ‘do’ new.
Trying to keep everything from changing requires squashing your natural desire to explore and learn. Squashing yourself all because somewhere ‘way back’ you have accepted the social/cultural message that we should all madly, wildly jump into the unknown without a second thought. “Whoo Hoo!” (Yeah, right.) We feel ‘wrong’ before we start, all because we don’t know. Darling that’s all there is to it! We don’t know because we don’t know…YET! Once we find out all we need to know to feel comfortable, well we are off exploring the world or a new city or a new job or a new hairdo for that matter. Life is always going to be new, each day is ‘new’. So, there you go. New is simply new. And you know what?
It truly doesn’t matter how you do new,
it only matters that you DO new.